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White Male Privilege

<<>>
Boss: Email these forms to this email address.
Me: Okay. <<sends forms to email address.>>

<<person responds with a question.>>

Me to Boss: Can you please help me to answer this question?
Boss to me: Here is the answer...
Boss to me in another email: Hi. Just reading down the email chain, it looks like you didn’t include any message in the original email. Is that the case?
Me: I did not as I was under the impression the forms we submitted had the necessary information.
Boss: That seems like a strange choice to me. Maybe rethink that kind of decision. You were communicating with a federal agency on behalf of our agency.
<<>>

This has bothered me more than I care to let on. I started to analyze things as I tend to do. I've managed large groups of people before and I can honestly tell you that I would NEVER have honed in on such minutiae and wasted the time writing an email about it.

So what propelled him to think it would be okay to scold me for something so trivial? Is it just him? Is it the fact that he's a white male and that I am a white female and therefore should be subservient to him? What was it?

Then I start to beat myself up about it. Should I have asked more questions before sending the email? Why is it so typical of females to find flaw in ourselves when the flaw lies in someone else? Why are his trust issues, his weird "isms" my problem? Well, he's my boss, so I guess that's why.

People say, "You don't deserve that, you should quit." And go where? I'm the breadwinner for my family and I need to provide for them. I don't have the luxury of just leaving. There are no transfer opportunities right now, so...I'm stuck.

The worst part is, I never interviewed with this man. I never wanted to work for him. In fact, I interviewed for his job and the woman that gave it to him instead of me, has recently been terminated. There is literally no one providing guidance to this man which upsets me even more because he thinks it's totally fine to be the way he is. It's demeaning and demotivating.

Then I started thinking about White Male Privilege and how I have allowed it to impact me. I see it with my own husband. I am less assertive with men, they take, I wait to be given. Why do we do that?

I need to start standing up to White Male Privilege because this is not okay. This guy has created a hostile environment for me all because of minor issues. What's his deal? I wish you all knew.

Anyways....onward.

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