Pretty Babies

In 1996, the band Dishwalla released an album that was later deemed “most politically correct” album of the year. Whether this was official or unofficial, a commendation or an insult, I don’t know. To me, it was accurate.

The song “Pretty Babies” comes to mind every time I see the most marginalized group in our nation objectified and sexualized. These are the lyrics:

"Everything about the world is sex

And it's a message of popular culture
Telling all our children how to do it right
And all through their innocence you may ask yourself why?
Why the need?
Why the need to eroticize our children?

Oh our pretty babies
Oh how they're not ready?
Oh our pretty babies
Oh how they're not ready?

Just down the street in beautiful
There is tension for a popular child
And it doesn't get much worse than that
In little beds in little rooms
Are the lost things, are the silver spoons?
Why the need?
Can't you see all the damage that it's doing?

Oh our pretty babies
Oh how they're not ready."

Valid questions, yes? So, what is the answer?

The answer lies in the problem. 

To add some substance to the above, here is a timeline of some of my experiences. 

Age 17

-First job at a drug store, 26 year old male manager tells me I “have blowjob lips.” I didn’t know what a blowjob was. 

-Same job, different manager (24 year old male), was shocked that I had never had a boyfriend and vowed that should I not find a boy at my school he would be happy to corrupt me. 

-Same job, 24 year old felt the need to “educate” me and tell me what a “69” was. 

-I spoke to the store manager about the 26 year old, who kissed me without my permission in the back room. The 26 year old was reassigned to a different store and not allowed to work the same shifts as me. My female colleagues turned on me, called me a liar. I eventually quit because of the verbal abuse from the women. 

Age 19

-Different job at an electronics store, my boss, a 32 year old male, grabbed my crotch in the warehouse. I still don't know what prompted him to do that or for him to think it would be okay.

-Same job, a friend told me that a prospective employee was looking at my ass, my boss at the time (a 40 something man) said, “You don’t have the job yet, man.” 

Age 23

-My direct supervisor, a 36 year old man, said “If you died I would fuck your corpse.” I was so upset about the comment that I went to HR. He was suspended for three days only to return as my boss. The females again turned on me, called me a liar that wanted attention. Again, I eventually quit because it was just too hard to work for my harasser and be shamed by my female colleagues. 

There are so many more examples of this. Some are from younger ages. The problem is that I am one woman and these are many men. We are objectified and corrupted at young ages because of what? What gave these men the right to corrupt my innocence, make me feel uncomfortable and eventually shame me to quitting jobs? Why did the women in each scenario turn on me? Why was I, the victim, punished?  I will never understand.

When I was 20, at a house party that I didn't want to be at, I became a victim of rape by my best friend’s younger brother. I was nearly passed out when I awoke to, well, penetration. When I told my best friend, she told me blood was thicker than water and I was asking for it because I had had too much to drink. I knew that my voice would never be as strong as the real offender. It made me sad. I lost my best friend, who was probably never really my best friend to begin with. 

How can we correct such a deep problem? Sex isn’t a right of a man. Not even husbands have a right to sex if wives don’t want it. They say, “Why do you always make the decision?” Well, because if a woman doesn’t want to have sex, she shouldn’t have to. 

Men, like the current president, think they can just take it and have said as much on video. We are in such precarious times. The wealthy, corrupt, self-gratifying, white male population that has taken control have done to our country what their ilk have been doing to women for centuries. 

Women are the most marginalized group in the country. Some people of color don't consider women minorities and that's just false. I'm not claiming that women are innocent and have never objectified men, but is that the norm? No, it's not.

When people ask me why I hate Trump so much, my answer is this: Because anyone that voted for him voted for the men that have violated me in the past. A vote for Trump is a vote for sex offenders. A vote for Trump is a slap in the face of every victim of sexual assault that ever lived, ever had to endure shame for coming forward, and ever had the courage to come forward in the first place.

People look at Stephanie "Stormy Daniels" Clifford and say, "She's a porn star." So? That doesn't make her any less of a human being. There's this strange justification for people that assault other people sexually. It's like, "Oh she's a porn star so she deserved it." or "She's promiscuous so it's no surprise that she was raped." How is that okay?

These same arguments are applied to gun rights activists. Our right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is not second to the right to bear arms. In fact, the right to bear arms is a right of the STATES to bear arms for a MILITIA to be called upon in the face of a TYRANNICAL FEDERAL GOVERNMENT. No one person has a right to bear assault rifles or to amass personal arsenals. One person does not make a militia.

But, I digress.

In closing, women, men, let's try hard to make #metoo stick. Let's work to change the narrative. Are you with me?