Thoughts from an American Female

I've been sad for a number of reasons (one of which is that I learned that a close family member has terminal cancer, it's very sudden and I'm very sad about it). I also get depressed when the seasons shift anyway, it's part of my illness, but I'm also sad because of certain news stories that come out. I'm sad that time after time men in positions of power abuse their power, and then other men call the woman coming forward a liar. This is sad, and it's outrageous and it needs to stop. My son is three years old. I say things to him like, "If Charlotte is playing with a ball you want, make sure you ask permission before taking it away." Yeah, it's subtle, but he needs to learn that he can't just take what isn't his. I have to start young because not having these conversations with our boys leads to greater issues. Ignoring it by calling it "locker room talk" or saying things like, "boys will be boys" just perpetuate...

I've spoken openly about my illnesses. I have anxiety and depression and have suffered with both my entire life. I know I say "illnesses" but in truth, they are two sides of the same coin. Today, I'm having a very hard time struggling with cognitive distortion. If you don't know what cognitive distortion is, you probably have dealt with it but just don't know if by name. One example: I can't do anything right. I'm the worst. Everyone hates me. Another example: What would happen if I jumped in front of that train? These thoughts happen to all of us but I swear that my vivid imagination deliver them to me in ultra 3D and sometimes, it's too much to bear. Today, I feel like I'm being bombarded with negative thoughts and I am trying to hone in on why and can't come up with anything. In therapy, they teach you to "HALT" and think are you H-hungry, A-Angry, L-Lonely, T-Tired? Hungry? No, I ate. Angry? Yeah, but I'm alw...

Typically, I don't like to compare things but I have to force myself to compare some things in order to remain calm and sane. I'm talking about the current political landscape, of course. Everything happening right now is unprecedented, it's abnormal and we should be worried. I've been saying all along that Trump isn't a problem by himself. It's like when one of the kids throws a temper tantrum and we walk away to let them get it out of their system. However, if one of the kids throws a tantrum and ALL of the other kids decide to join in, well, then we have a bigger problem on our hands. What we are seeing right now is a weird sort of blind agreement to a man that is so utterly awful it's not even possible to put into words just how awful he truly is. We have people kissing his ring and bowing down to him and it is not out of respect. It might be out of fear, though. Fear that something quite embarrassing will be released, oppo research perhaps, that c...

Yesterday I worked remotely and had the TV on in the background, as I usually do. It helps me focus on my work, oddly enough. Anyway, I decided to watch Jaws followed by Jaws II and then Jaws III (which never happened btw).  It struck me as odd that Mayor Larry Vaughn (Vaughn is my maiden name) was re-elected after the shark attacks that took place due to his lack of action in closing those beaches. Yeah, it's fiction, but is it really that far off? We are sitting here with the biggest damn fool as president and he got there, in part, because 62 million Americans voted for him. That is a staggering number. Sure, 12 million MORE people voted against him but because of our weird American ways, Trump is president. So, is it so far fetched that Larry Vaughn was re-elected mayor after a psycho shark massacred innocent beachgoers? Nope. Simon Cowell of American Idol fame had an affair with his best friend's wife and got her pregnant. Because he came out and said, ...

As many of you know, I don't belong to any political party. I don't believe we need more ways to divide ourselves, I believe we do enough of that without any additional categories. When I vote in the Primary, I'm given an option of which ballot I'd like to vote on. It keeps me able to vote for the candidate that I most align with, not just on policy, but also on character. Character is one of the most important things a person possesses. Without it, without character and conviction, we are nothing but a kite with no string, left to mercy of the wind, to float about with no direction or purpose. Back when I was a hiring manager I always wished that interviews were longer, or more casual instead of the pretend production that they are. We rarely see who we are getting until well into a person's employment. The campaign trail is nothing more than a job interview, a long one, with debates, media appearances, etc. Given what the American people saw, what they hea...

Every woman of childbearing age has had that awkward experience of being asked if they are pregnant, when they aren't. This happened to me in March and it jumpstarted me into my fitness regime, so maybe it was good motivation, but it happens all too often and I want to talk about it. Pregnancy is a deeply personal thing. It isn't something that should be pried out of someone, it should be willingly shared. Even if a woman is asked, and she is pregnant, she might not want you to know, otherwise, perhaps she would have told you. I have two children, but have had three pregnancies. Miscarriage represents 25% of all pregnancies and is a part of being pregnant. In fact, miscarriage is medically classified as "spontaneous abortion" because that's what happens. Women started to become uncomfortable with the term because of the negativity surrounding abortions as a whole. When this woman approached me in March, she touched my stomach, which made it worse, and said...

Many of you know of my personal afflictions, depression and generalized anxiety disorder, and if you suffer with these illness like I do, then you know how hard it is when a curve ball comes hurtling toward you at breakneck speeds threatening to derail the train of normalcy. Sometimes it's super minor, like someone asks for something that isn't part of the normal routine. Other times, the cars transmission shits the bed and you find yourself needing to buy a new car when you were not planning to. I'm in the latter category this week. Stress and I have a complicated relationship. Sometimes, I find myself staring down at it daring it to conquer me, other times, I find myself crippled under it's intense stare. I have to admit, I'm feeling a bit crippled today. I looked at Donald Trump's Twitter this morning. I rolled my eyes, and closed Twitter entirely. I'm sick of him. I need to look inside myself and find my own personal bliss. I've realiz...