"Life is pain"

"Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something." - Man in Black

Have you ever had those days where you feel like the only lesson is the lesson above? That life is pain?

I feel that way today. I'm sitting at my desk feeling self-conscious, feeling every ounce of depression I possess flowing through me. I feel alone, awkward, sad, uncertain...I feel pain. I feel loss.

A close family member died rather suddenly. His fight was one he knew he wouldn't win. Cancer very rarely allows its opponent to succeed. The world lost another great man and here we are, those that loved him, in pain.

Life is all about letting go, I know that. I know that this is a temporary existence but how can we reconcile that fact knowing that our time could be up any second?

I don't want to live my life waiting. I want to live my life living.

If there is a heaven and I get there, I want to make sure I did everything in my power to have the best life I could have. If there is no heaven, I still want to make sure I did everything in my power to have the best life I could have. I don't want to live waiting for the next level because there might not be a next level. This might be it...

With that said, another story surfaced today that broke my heart. My friend got married on Sunday. His new husband's father collapsed during one of the dances and didn't make it. A day that was supposed to be happy will now forever be paired with that of sadness and my heart breaks for him and his spouse.

My question remains, what are we waiting for?

If death is going to come to me like a thief in the night and I am to be completely unprepared I want to make sure my moments here are precious. Every moment with my kids, my husband, my parents, I want to live those moments fully and completely.

Put down the phone and live.

Go out, have a face to face conversation, push everything else aside when you're speaking to that person. Be present.

Time is fleeting...and life can be pain but live it anyway. None of us know how long we have.