Thoughts from an American Female

Politics aside; I don't like Donald Trump. I don't like people that degrade people. I don't like people that abuse their power. I don't like people that cause harm and belittle. I don't like people that gaslight. I think about this quite a bit. As a person that considers herself a Christian, I struggle with the animus that I feel for him. I used to listen to Howard Stern then Opie and Anthony. I would laugh at their jokes and when Trump was on, I would laugh at how they were making fun of him. They poked fun at him and he was so damn clueless that he didn't even realize it. My husband used to watch The Apprentice, I would watch too. I remember feeling grossed out when the women on the show talked to Trump with such reverence. They called him, "Mr. President." It made me feel sick. I remember his first marriage to Ivana. I remember the scandal of his affair with Marla Maples. I stopped paying attention after that. He was a non-entity to me. He...

Who are we? I can tell you who I am. I am a woman, raised Catholic, in Massachusetts. When I was 15 years old, I told my father I didn't want to make my Confirmation. He said okay. He didn't argue, he didn't tell me that I had to make it, he didn't force me to follow a religion I was beginning to doubt. Instead, he embraced my agnosticism and let me explore other theologies so that I could become more aware. I have always enjoyed mythology and I've read many myths and folktales from around the globe. I particularly enjoy stories of creation. Reading the many stories from tales about Blood-Clot Boy from the Blackfoot tribe to Adam and Eve of Judeo-Christan origins. All of them are impossible, all of them are trying to teach us something, and all of them have some basis in fact at the time the stories were told. In my teens, I began to explore Wicca. I read about it and realized it wasn't "evil" as some people claimed but instead closely matched the ...

There is nothing I despise more than a lie. Lies, when repeated often enough, can be believed by the person that fabricated them. Never before in our country have we had a president that lies so constantly, with a base that believes him so completely that has a news station to amplify him. It is horrendous, it is dangerous. We need to mobilize, we need to stop this. If not now, when? If not us, who? These children can't speak for themselves. They're minors. Some younger than my three year old. It pains me to think of either of my children in captivity, away from me, with no clear path back to me. How can they do this? How can any government do this? I think of their little faces, their eyes, already filled with fear of being in a new place, feeling solace only from the embrace of their parents and then the mean men take them away and put them in cages. This is traumatic. A senator, I think, Steve King, said that Abortion is the true final separator of child from mot...

Well, here we are. Concentration Camps in Texas for innocent kids that have been kidnapped from their parents by the American government. Congratulations Republicans, you did it. You did this. Fox News helped you, Russia helped you, but ultimately, you did this. Your fearmongering, race-baiting, sick and twisted narrative, did this. I've always wondered how pro-gun and pro-life go together. Turns out, they don't. You're pretend Christians. You have one god, money. That's why you let Trump do what he does. That and I'm sure that the RNC data hack has something to do with your obediance to this shithead of a man. But, that's another story. Here we have ignorant Americans calling asylum seekers, "Criminal Invaders". They are calling children, "Baby Criminals". They have disassociated and don't even see these poor people as human. That's what the Trump administration wanted and with Fox as the mouthpiece to these stupid guntoting ...

It's important to document how I feel when I'm depressed. It's important to document the triggers. Most often depression is triggered by a horrible fact that is far too close to home. For me, today, it was that small boy with a quivering lip, in a cage, wanting his mommy. I often have to remind myself that I can't heal the world. I'm such an empath that I legitimately feel the pain of those that are suffering. For many years I successfully ignored the news because it was bad for me. When Trump announced his candidacy I knew I wouldn't be able to ignore it any more. Smartphones also make it hard to ignore, what with all the alerts, etc. I try to turn that negativity into a positive, but I'm having a really hard time right now. Usually, we see good things happening but recently, it's all been bad or awful. I don't feel good about things. Yes, I suffer from a deep clinical depression with a primary symptom of guilt. As if that wasn't enoug...

Maybe I'm confused. Maybe my perception is not reality. Maybe I'm wrong but, I need to put this down, because it is how I see things. If I were to ask my in-laws what conservatism means to them they would say, "Strong military, strong support for military, strong religious stance, pro-life." If I were to ask my father what conservatism means, he would say, "Discrimination against everyone that disagrees with conservative beliefs." If we boil down what my in-laws say, they are staunch conservatives in case that was unclear, they want to feel safe, they want our service members to be treated well and they want religion to be a part of our government. The first part, fine. I want our service members to be treated well, too. They should be, they put their lives on the line and honestly, they deserve combat pay and all of the other things that come along with dedicating your life to a life of service for your country. I do think, though, that we need to...

Yesterday I tweeted: "Trump has degraded the office of the presidency so much. Before him, I thought the President was the most informed member of our society. I believed they relied on our IC and made careful informed decisions with national security in mind. I do not feel that way about Trump. In fact, I think he’s a fool. The way the world looks at him and the fact that he is supposedly representing the American people is insulting to me. His constant attacks on our DOJ and IC and the media, his ignorance of tragedies and victories of minorities, are appalling. His policy to rip migrant children away from the parents and putting them in what is essentially a jail is despicable. Then, there are the constant lies. The gaslighting. The manipulation and abuse. The people that follow him with no full understanding of why, the congress that refuses to do their job and hold him accountable...it’s honestly unreal. It’s so easy to become desensitized but don’t. Take a minute...

Day 6 This workout was called Cardio Flow and it was weird. It was different than any workout I had ever done. It was hard. The workout flows like links on a chain. It goes like this: 1. Inchworms 2. Inchworms, Spider Push-up 3. Inchworms, Spider Push-up, Flamingo 4. Inchworms, Spider Push-up, Flamingo, Diamond Squat Jumps 5. Inchworms, Spider Push-up, Flamingo, Diamond Squat Jumps, Duck Walk 6. Inchworms, Spider Push-up, Flamingo, Diamond Squat Jumps, Duck Walk, Gorilla 7. Inchworms, Spider Push-up, Flamingo, Diamond Squat Jumps, Duck Walk, Gorilla, Bear 8. Inchworms, Spider Push-up, Flamingo, Diamond Squat Jumps, Duck Walk, Gorilla, Bear, Kick Throughs 9.  Inchworms, Spider Push-up, Flamingo, Diamond Squat Jumps, Duck Walk, Gorilla, Bear, Kick Throughs 10. Inchworms, Spider Push-up, Flamingo, Diamond Squat Jumps, Duck Walk, Gorilla, Bear, Kick Throughs, Crabs 11. Inchworms, Spider Push-up, Flamingo, Diamond Squat Jumps, Duck Walk, Gorilla, Bear, Kic...

I am not giving up. Our country, our democracy, has gone through so many growing pains and we were so close to level and then Trump won. I remember when I lost my office at work. It was a reorg, and it was just part of it, but it still stung. Somehow, having something only to have it taken away hurts more than never having it at all. It's like that now. When we marched for Women's Rights people said, "What are you marching for?" and "No one is taking away your rights." I'm sorry, but those people were wrong. To the people still supporting this demagogue, why? What has he done for you personally? How has he personally improved your life in this country? He's not. 99 years ago today women were given the right to vote. 99 years! That is not a long time. Women have been, and continue to be, the most marginalized group in this country. Why? Because the societal norm of the white male elite is for women to be subservient and man to be their kin...

I want to challenge the Mainstream Media to stop reporting on Donald Trump's tweets and lies. When his words are amplified and broadcast to a greater audience, we all suffer. Let's take an imaginary walk. Come along? Imagine, for a moment, that the MSM didn't go for (term that I hate) low hanging fruit, but instead went looking for real stories that have merit and that unite our fractured nation. Imagine a news cycle with no Trump related garbage but instead highlights about the good being done in communities across the country. Imagine stories that highlight the kindness in communities and the outpouring of love and support in times of tragedy. Imagine that instead of airing the vitriol filled speech of Donald Trump or the NRA, we instead focus on messages of hope and strength. Our leaders do not represent the majority. This isn't hyperbole or opinion, it is a fact. It is a fact that in the 2016 Presidential Election more Americans voted for Hillary Clinton...

Leg day, ahhh, leg day. I actually like leg day because I don't have to do push-ups. I have wrist issues. However, my hamstrings were twitching like mad and walking up to Beacon Hill from Back Bay was way more straining than usual. My first weight check was Friday, May 25th: 183 Today, I weighed myself (a week later) and: 179.5 Goal: 143 Remaining to lose: 36.5 Just seeing the numbers go down is so motivating because I know that what I am doing is working. I am also totally aware of the fact that the first few pounds go away easily and it's the stubborn last few that linger, but I'm on my way. Hell, I've done it before. I can't blog too long today. I have a fire to put out. But tomorrow I have more cardio and while I hate it I know it's important. Talk soon L